i'm leavin..

Peace be upon with you.

I'm leavin.... never come back again,,
Jesse McCartney- Leavin'

So, I'm leaving today from residence hall, going to jijoe's home sweet home. And next Tuesday, I'm leaving Rochester, going to Florida. Yea2. Firts time having vacation in US. I wonder how it looks like. Sigh.

So long I have never been posting any topic. Since I'm quit busy with classes and homework. But all things are covered successfully. Don't worry. So far, so good. Taking 17 credit hours for this quarter, plus working as a custodian, it seems a real challenge for me. Especially during winter. (exhausted pushing the cart with full of trash and snowy road. ADEI).

All in all, I wanna enjoy my holiday. And trying to finish Breaking Dawn (half more). So, I wish you all happy holiday and happy new year (awal lg). HOI HOI Florida, Here I Come.

Wassalam.

~Tig tag tog~

Peace be upon with y0u...

I have been tagged by bari and pau!!!,,all come from jiji,,ces!!!!

1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda :

~ Agame kuat (plg crucial!!)
~ pandai masak
~ bertolak ansur & bertoleransi dlm semue hal
~ 'mak turut' (ngeeeeee...-ikut ckp)
~ cantik dan seksi (awwwww)

2. 5 Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup :

~ biadap!!!
~ Mata duitan + pisau cukur
~ memerintah si lelaki....no way!!
~ not open minded
~ ugly....+ x pandai masak!!

3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Minati :

~ bahagia (alangkah indahnya, hidup ini....)
~ malu2 kucing (awwww!!!)
~ rase sayang dan suke...
~ kelam-kabut (thinking of next thing to do..shopping ke movie??)
~ teruja...LOL

4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda :

~ beach yang indah,,tulis name atas pasir,,ambik gambar,,,
~ high class restaurant,,dinner ala2 nak confess will u marry me,,LOL.,,
~ hollywood!!
~ taman tasik titiwangsa,,naik bende alah yang pusing2 tuh,,
~ sydney autralia...

5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia :

~ jewerly (tggu keje dpt gaji)
~ bunga anggerik hari2,,kalau x pon once in a week
~ kain sutera buat kebaye,,,hohoho
~ tudung,,tudung bawal,,
~ jam dgn handbag,,,

6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda..

~ Yang teristimewa - SHAHILA ~ kau yang teristimewa..
~ my love - justin timberlake -
~ bude buai - korean song
~ aserehe - last ketchup - aserehe a rehe rehe.......
~ kau ilhamku - man bai....

7. Rakan Yang Anda Tag Dan Mahu Mereka Buat 5 PERIHAL Ini. Wajib!!!!

~ joe - kene tulis atas kertas pastu bg kat aku,,LOL
~ gman -
~ izwan -
~ miem???,,hehe sori
~ aisyah,,hoho,,

"semue yg tertulis diatas adalah bergantung kepade ability saye pada masa tersebut,,kalau duit xde,,xde la nak beli jewerly, pergi hollywood,,LOL,,dan lain2 lg."

Wassalam

bella's lullaby

Peace be upon with you.

I wonder why I'm now addicted with twilight soundtrack. LOL. It sounds ridiculous as I have never been addicted to any other movie soundtrack before. Sigh. Top 5 songs.

1. Bella's lullaby - carter burwell
2. Full moon - black ghost
3. Decode - paramore
4. Supermassive black hole - muse
5. Leave out all the rest - linkin park

Thanx to gman bcoz introduce me to paramore, and jiji for converting the song.

Btw, I have finished reading eclipse. Sigh. What a very complicated love story. Can't wait for breaking dawn.

Wassalam.

Happy Eid Ul Adha

Assalamualaikum.

I feel that Eid Ul Fitri is celebrated last few weeks. Even it's actually has been held 2 months ago. So short, tomorrow is Eid Ul Adha. So, I wish Happy Eid Ul Adha to all of you. I hope we together will success in the future. Amin.

Btw, happy birhday to my young little sister for her 7th birthday. Sorry, no present.

Today...

I realized, and I have always been realized,

That life is not gonna be happy all the time. There will be the sad part too, in between of them.

To make me fell as a normal real person.

And, life is not gonna be lucky all the time. There will be some time, I need to put effort on it.

To make life becomes better.

Wassalam.

- - what ARE they TO me - -

Peace be upon with you.

Family - the one who is my first love. No offense. They give me everything I want. Food, money, happiness, education, living place and many more. This joint cannot be broken easily. I miss them very much because, they make me as who I am now. I feel the responsibility to take care of them, to make them happy, to pay all of their effort , although it could not ever be happened. It is called LOVE.

Friends - the one who am I easily hanging out with. Sometimes, the one who am I taking care of. They comfort me when I'm in trouble. That is nice. Together we go out for meal, shopping, gossiping and even talking about problems. Yeah, they are different by levels. Acquaintance, friends and best friends. But somehow, they are all just the same. Who know of my existence here on earth. It is called LOVE.

Soul-mate - the one who am I, of course, love with, live with and die with. Although I don't have any, I could feel through of what I see, what I hear and what I listen. So sweet. Romantic. Even it could contribute into jealously. It doesn't matter what consequences that we might be faced. As long as we are together, strong, nothing is impossible. The perfect sentence to my future lover, "I'm all yours." It is called LOVE.

From what I have mentioned, they are all MY LOVE. It just they are distinctly different by what I feel to them. Like, miss, comfort, love, jealous, responsible. All kind of feelings. Mixed together. Poor me.

As poor as Bella. She insisted Edward to turn her life, to be immortal, strong, protective. Change her int o someone who could protect Charlie and Renee from danger. The feel of responsible and not giving all it on to Cullen's shoulder. To be with Edward forever and ever. Even it could hurt Jacob's heart, as someday, it would turn from best friend to historical enemy. No tolerance either. But, no one like the changes. Sigh, poor Bella.

Poor me. I insist myself to be cool. It's hard, but I already get into it a long time ago. It's bitter too. No one know. So, be happy of what we have. Grateful is most important. Because you are lucky. Luckier than me. Sigh. Really need to complete homework.

Wassalam.

New journey begins,,,

Peace be upon with you.

Winter quarter has started for 3 days. So far, so good. It just I need to be more hardworking because most of the classes, I'm the only Malaysian. Sigh. I also need to memorize lots of things as I'm taking foreign language here. So, I wish you all good luck then.

Wassalam.

p/s: ape cerite dikir??

Quote,,,,,

Peace be upon with you.

Life is difficult. I admit it. No offense. Because I feel terrible. So terrible. Thinking about my life, again and again, is really pissed me off. No wonder people could not know me, I guess so. So my point is, I'm f***ing dumb a**. Sigh, I'm really need......... sigh, forget it.

,,there is nothing about my life except craziness,,

,,sometimes,,loneliness can make me smile,,and,,
,,sometimes,,loneliness can make me cry,,

,,beautiness is a BONUS for people,,whatever they want,,they will get it easily,,

,,sometimes,,I wanna love someone and wanna be love by someone,,
,,sometimes,,I wanna hate someone but don't wanna be hate by someone,,
,,can I deserve dat??,,seems impossible,,

,,it's not easy to understand someone's heart,,and,,
,,it's not easy to understand my heart,,but,,
,,I wish I'm not existed,,serious,,

,,everyone cannot be trusted,,

,,addicted,,something that cannot be changed,,

Those are my quotes I made up. Sounds not beautiful. Yeah, I'm not a poet. And quote of this new month:

,,putting high expectation on something would make someone crazy,,real crazy,,

I need to go to sleep. (I hope I could experience happy life, at least in my dream,,sigh,,)

Wassalam.

I love shoes,,

Peace be upon with you.

Collecting shoes is my passion since I was 15. If I could remember, I have collected about 15 pairs of shoes back to my home with different types. Sneakers, school-like shoes, basketball shoes, hoppers shoes, PVC shoes and even dancing shoes. How pathetic I am. But, I just brought 2 pairs here at RIT. And one of them seems to be unwearable. LOL. I like hoppers shoes most. So, I bought new shoes at the Mall. And my favorite colors are red, white and black.

My old red white shoes

My new black white shoes

My new Black shoes

If you could notice, I like to tie the shoes differently than normal. Huhu. My habits to look special than others.

ecah kentang and mine - same habit,,hoho,,

Somehow i miss my old shoes at home.WAWAWAWA. Okay, Till next post.

Wassalam.

-same interest-

Peace be upon with you.

It seems to be like everyone is busy with twilight stuff. Either watching its movie or reading the Twilight Saga novels. In RIT, several senior girls are big fans of this story. So am I. The first time I watched the movie last Sunday, I feel like, I'm going to read this book.

And yes, I bought it at Barnes&Noble and did finish read the book in 2 days because there was nothing to do in my room. So, I compared both of the story from book and movie. I found several parts are different from both of them.

1. Twilight novel gives me more precise plot about the story

2. Bella does not buy the Quilette History book at the Port Angeles bookstore

3. Bella firmly tells Edward that he is a vampire and it is not Edward who wants Bella to say itlouder about who he is actually.

4. Jacob dances with Bella at her prom night and tells her not to be friend with Edward.

So, I read New Moon next day. And I feel like so angry with Jacob Black. AAAAAAAAAA. Because he.......I'm not gonna tell you. Read the book.

My status now about reading the book: Frustrated because Eclipse is out of stock at Barnes&Noble. Sigh.

Ok, Let's turn to the movie. What can I say is, it is a very exciting movie. Maybe it could be nominated as the Movie Of The Year. LOL. Plus, I love Cullen Family especially Carlisle Cullen. Because he is a very strong hearted vampire.

I can't wait for the New Moon movie to release. Hehe.

wassalam.

~Same voices~

Peace be upon with you.

It's normal for siblings to have same voice. Not exactly the same but almost. Yeah, I do have voice same with my 2nd brother and he is a bigger than me (no offence okay!). There are 2 interesting stories.

FIRST

If our mama or ayah calls home and either of us answers it, the first thing come out from them is,"Ni abg mane nie??". So, as usual, we need to introduce ourselves to our parent. Sigh. What a heck!!

SECOND

I copy and paste the post from my 2nd bro. Once upon a time....

http://eizonce.blogspot.com/2008/11/nasuha.html

So, that is the story. Haha. There have been a long time I don't contact him. He is my junior and he is nice too. LOL.

Okay. Need to sleep right away.
Wassalam

''fate''

Peace be upon with you.

Sigh....When I think about my life, it's complicated. And when I try a little bit harder, a little bit future, it stress me out because it is complicated. Thinking about analogy, it just like a very long way, too many paths. I wonder which one should I choose, and scare if all the paths are wrong, straight to the dead ends. My eyes couldn't see any lights more. It just the dark, covering my whole life. Sigh.....

Yes. I do read blogs. Knowing what they do, what they feel and what they think. It seemes everyone has their own happy sad things.
And yes, I do feel upset. When they have something and I don't.
And yes, I do feel down. When they do something and I don't.
And yes, I do feel bad....and sad. When I think.....how AWFUL I am.

Someone said to me - you did a wise decision my friend this week -
I simply replied - I know -
Yet, my heart just felt like - blizzards were going all the way around my body -

Someone said to me - you are undescribable (I don't remember the exact word, but it has something related with that word) -
I simply replied - maybe -
Yet, I do. People are quit difficult to know me. What am I exactly. The real me.

What I am thinking right now?
Wondering if I could be as strong as Carlisle Cullen from Twilight Saga. A very kind vampire, living immortal, not sucking people's blood. Even he is a doctor. Rich and yet still happy with himself, even he had gone through the bittherness of his previous life.

But....I know it is impossible to be a vampire just like him.
And...I realize, this is the ''fate'' that I choose a long time ago. Sour, bitter, dark.
And...I realize, I need to continue my life by using the fate I choose. Sour, bitter, dark.
Till my heart is stop functioning, till the end of my journey.

Wassalam.

p/s - sorry being emo again. just expressing my thought. and no one is related. it is just EVERYONE in general.

broken

Peace be upon with you,,

It's not about broken heart,,
It's just about broken.....GLASSES

Sigh,,I stepped on my beautiful black glasses last few days when I woke up in the morning. I had never realized it was on the floor and I stepped on it hard. At last, the right lense broke. Ouch, my foot was hurt too. I screamed, but not loud. And yeay me, because I have another blue specs that I could use then. But somehow, I missed my broken glasses. Awwww...


Sigh, I wonder how much the cost only for the lense here at the Mall. Would it be expensive?

p/s: iwan,,pls go to the optical store at giant kj. Then, ask whoever in the store to trace my latest record. Last, copy all the info and give it to me through email. Remember, do not miss any info plz,,,

Wassalam.

Custodian during holidays

Peace be upon with you.

Early morning for every weekend, I wake up going to work as a custodian. The main thing I do is picking up trash and sending it to some other place. Instead of it, sometimes I need to sweep the floor, mop it and vacuum it. I think this job is almost the same as a cleaner. Yeah a cleaner. I'm really grateful because at last, I get a job as the second source of money instead of allowance from MARA.

"kalau dekat US, student Malaysia keje kasto plg popular." - someone's quote.

For me, as long as the job makes money, 'halal' and okay, it's alright for me. Even it is quite a tough job for me.

Custodian - Last weekend

Thank to Allah, there was not much trash at the residence hall. Specifically, me and Aza checked trash at building 28, 30, 32, Baker, Colby and Kate Gleason. So, we finished it around 7 a.m. So, then we were vacuming the A floor at building 28,, 30 and 32. Plus, moping the stairs at Kate Gleason. I have already gotten my badge number too.

Sigh, I wonder how is it gonna be like when working during the students are staying at the residence. I'm pretty sure there would be a lot of trash as they like to make trash and garbage. LOL. Pray for my strenght so I could wake up early and do the trash picking.

Wassalam.

Not in plan

Peace be upon with you,,

Once again, I just want to write about my daily life last Thursday & Friday. Here we go...

Manche's house - Late evening - Thursday

I went to his house because I was invited to. Fullstop. Nothing other than that. Yeah, I ate dinner, watched tv, chit-chat with him and read book. That's all. But somehow when my eyes looked at my phone, it was already midnight, and the temperature was -5 Celcius I guess. So, it would be better if I stayed there for a night. Hehe. Not in my plan. And I slept peacefully about 1 a.m without switching off the lights. Sorry dude...

On the way going to Skalny Room - Noon - Friday

Waiting for the bus was sucked. Sorry for the harsh, but yeah, no other words to describe. But at last, it arrived at the park point 600++ houses. So, I ran, quickly, to catch it up. Sigh. What a day. Solah Jumaah went through smoothly and amazingly, I didn't sleep at all. After it was finished, I went outside, did 3 things
1. Said goodbye to Joe for his holiday (he is a very kind person)
2. Listened seniors experience sleeding at RC yesterday,,sigh,,
3. Followed Manche' going to Naje's home sweet home,,also not in plan,,

Naje's home sweet home - Evening

Nothing else to do than playing RockBand2. Yup. Then, Manche' cooked 'telur kicap' as our pre-dinner because Hawa would come over and pepare for dinner. Plus, we were really hungry as we didn't eat since we woke up in the morning. Yee-hah. When the sun was slowly faded from my view, more Malaysians came. Yup, it was just like a party I guess. I helped Hawa cooking. But sadly, the rice cooker caused trouble and needed to make other rice. Sigh, but at last, everyone was satisfied. Yeah.

And that night, I just knew that Ijud was going back to Malaysia for her good sake. Sigh, I really wanna know the reasons. But, they told me that I spreaded her story. I was just like,,DUUUH,,,I just knew it by that time....

On the way back to Residence Hall, I enjoyed the view of RIT in white with Manche', Adam, Thirah and Kentang. It was fun too since Adam was talking about something I don't understand till now. Sorry Adam. I was thinking something else at that time.
So, I slept early coz needed to woke up early...

Wassalam.

'What a day'

Peace be upon with you,

Uhurm,I just want to write my activities and my feelings on last Wednesday.
Once upon a time,,,

On a gray couch,,morning,,

My phone was ringing made me woke up to grab it and answer the call. It was Amer asked me to go to downtown for applying SSN. I nodded means I understood of what was he talking about. My back was still killing me. Maybe I overslept last night. Looking at the pad of my HP laptop, my hand rolled on it to start the screen. Yeah, the were 2 IMs for me. One from RIT member and another one from my family. I read them carefully without blinks. And yeah, I did what the IMs told me to do so even I felt disappointed plus guilty. Nothing more than that.

At Gleason Circle bus stop,,noon,,

Sigh, my heart felt very depressed without reasons. But I still kept talking with my friends about anything. Then, BUS 24 arrived on time and I paid the ticket with a dollar coin. My eyes tried to search perfect spot to sit and I found one at the back. I got to that spot and sit. Enjoying the view outside the bus, I tried not to think anything and let my mind empty.

Downtown of Rochester,,

Nothing much to write, just
1. Met Afnan and Ijud at the SSN place. But Afnan left his I-20,,,LOL,,
2. It was a boring view of the downtown
3. Thought that Shah Alam is better than the downtown
4. Taking pictures in front of library

MarketPlace Mall,,evening,,

Time to release tension. I went for window shopping at Shoe Lockers and Sears. It was not window shopping actually. It was shopping time. Yeah, the output was 2 shoes and a winter jackets. And yeah, the pain was slowly faded away.
And I saw someone in a bus 244 when I was in white bus,,,LOL,,,kantoi,,

Naje's home sweet home,,early night,,

2 main things,,plus,,there were lots of Malaysian people too!!!
1. Dinner
2. RockBand2

Walmart,,midnight,,

Getis followed park point seniors in the car went to Walmart. And there was more chit-chatting rather than buying stuffs. Plus, I didn't buy any.

Room 02035,,

1. YMing
2. Thinking my future life
3. Sigh,,,,talking to myself, 'Apela nasib aku hari nie,'

Wassalam.

Why everything is confusing?

Peace be upon with you.

When I do something that for me is alright, people would say it is not alright...

When I don't do something that for me is not alright, people would say it is alright...

Which is the right one?

Me or people?

I have reasons why I do and don't..

People have reasons why I should or shouldn't..

Yeah,,
Everything is confusing,,
Which is the right one,,
Either people or me,,
Or,,
Neither people nor me,,

But why?
Anyone?
Anybody?Wassalam

Tagged by iwan,,

Peace be upon with you.

This is my first time in my life doing tag thingy. Here we go............

1) Do you think you’re hot ?
Nope

2) Upload your favourite picture of you!













3) Why do you like that picture ?
Got my name on it??,,plus,,it's cool!!!

4) When was the last time you ate pizza ?
A week ago,,cheese pizza at Gracies!!!

5) The last song you listen to ?
I gotta find you - Joe Jonas

6) What are you doing right now besides this ?
Blogging, Facebooking, Friendstering, YMing, Eating!!!

7) What name would you prefer besides yours ?
No idea. Shahrizal is already a perfect name!!

People to Tag ( i dont care if youve been tagged! )
Members of RIT and U of R,,never read tag thingy from them,,LOL,,

8) Who is number one ?
Of course Tuhan Yang Satu and Family,,(nak due2)

9) Number three is having a relationship with ?
errrr,,,who's 3??,,no idea,,lantak die,,

10) Say something about number five ?
No idea

11) How about number four?
Also no idea

Wassalam.

Happy On a Snowy Day

Peace be upon with you.

After listened to the azan at someone's laptop, I woke up. The first thing that came into my head, "What time is it?" And quickly, I grabbed my phone and it was already noon!! Gee. No wonder my back was still killing me becoz of oversleep I think.

The second thing after knowing the precious time, was looking outside the window. My foot reached on the floor and it was cold. I opened the curtain and watched the view outside the house. YES!! It's snowing. Haha. I was getting excited as I grabbed my phone and took pictures on the snow. LOL.

Camwhoring is not that bad as people keep saying that, "Camwhore,,euwwww!!!!!". Whatever.

Snowball!!!

PERKINS GREEN,,(White maybe)

Yeah, even my face is ugly, I enjoy camwhoring!!!,,

Somehow, snow is annoying!!!!,,,

Wassalam.

That is so not me,,

Peace be upon with you.

As usual, early in the morning, I started to get work at 5am. And surprisingly, I was assigned to pick the trash alone only at Baker Building a.k.a Honors Building. Sigh. It was really dark and scary too (after watched 'mirror') I turned on the light to make it brighter. The day was snowing too. What a coincidence. Wonderful.

I finished my trash pickup at 640am. Yeah it's early because there were little trash except I missed to clean one of the trash room yesterday. Sigh. However, I got caught by senior custodial. He worked with azza, and he asked meto help him. Sigh. It's okay with me as I could learn how to clean the floor by using the vacuum back pack as I needed to hold it at my back. Yeah, it's really killing my back, but somehow I enjoyed it as it made me memorizing my clraning job when I was in High School.

Related to my post tittle, one of the seniors asked me what should they call my me. So, as usual, I would say 'Shah'. However, they said that 'Chuck' is better because

1. It's an American name
2. It's easy to remember
3. Pronunciation is almost the same, SHAH=CHUCK

That is so not me. How come they would think about my name? I have my american name. LOL.
Plus, it's really pissed me off when I remembered the movies that have the name 'Chuck'

1. Good Luck Chuck
2. Larry and Chuck

It's like HELLO!!!...but, I don't mind if they called me 'Chuck' as long as they noticed me, recognized me.

Till the next post friends.

Wassalam.

Working!!

Peace be upon with you,,

First day working, as a custidial worker at RIT. It's tiring as I need to pick up trash from all of the trash and recycle room in every single floor at residence hall. And the trash were a lot. I could say it as other students were already home yesterday. So, I needed to clean up the mess that they did. Sigh.

However, it's really a good experience. Yeah, first time working in the US. Wonderful though and need to get some money and keep it for future plan. LOL.

So, that's it. Don't want to talk more about work. Just wanna enjoy a 2 weeks break (actually, I'm already bord when there is nothing else to do rather than eating, sleeping, surfing and wathing movies.) Sigh.

Till the next post.

Wassalam

Damn Sleepy,,,

Peace be upon with you,

Ya Allah,,I'm so sleepy rite now. Coz I was staying at the library for the whole night. It's a cool experience, wahahaha,,first time. After the introbio1 final, it's really make me feel better. No more stress (for this 2 weeks break),,before new challenges from winter quarter come. Sigh.....

Whatever it is, I bet you all are now happy,,(except mior yg sedih when fall quarter gonna end tomorrow),,hurm,,happy holidy!!!!

Wassalam

The way I am

Peace be upon with you,,

As usual, most of the time I spend is 'lepak'ing and studying in Wallace Library. Yeah, I faced lots of bad things last night, so I need to be more careful after this. What a such numb, borink day....

When jiji asked, "bile ko give up, ko akan....................". I spontaneously answer, "Listen to music." Yeah, although i'm not really up-to-date with new songs, I just like to listen to my songs. Somehow, when I listen to old songs and I like, I would transfer it to my phone. Wahahaha.

It really makes me remember the first songs that I love to liste when I was in High School:

1. I wanna know - Mario Winans
2. Semusim - Marcell
3. Caramu - Nikki Zahid

But now I listen to other songs,,

1. Now or never - HSM3
2. Newport living - Cute is what we aim for
3. He said she said - Ashley Tisdale (aaawwwww)

So, thats all for today. Need to concentrate back to my notes and cheatsheet,,LOL!!!

Wassalam

My shoes have destroyed!!

Peace be upon with you,,

Recently, I feel like I'm destroying my special shoes. Red B.U.M equipment-school like shoes I guess. Sigh. I wonder why there are cuts at both of them. Maybe............

1. I have washed them for several times. Hygiene is first priority,,(actually wanna make it stay clean and white,,LOL)

2. My feet are growing,,sigh,,

Whatever it is,,I will stay remember the moment I bought them at Sunway Pyramid for rm60. Although people said its ugly, so not cool (coz of like school shoes), I don't even care. It's my taste to wear it. Feel like,,yeah,,getting younger (kembali mude),,LOL,,But somehow,,I am quite dissappointed coz I juz wear them for 6-7 months I think,,sigh,,

It's okay,,I would find a new one,,hoho,,

Peace be upon with you,,,

smile :-)

Peace be upon with you,,

Just wanna say,,I smile couples of numbers today,,

1. Finishing my writing presentation,,and it was shocking I got full mark for it,,(it was a terrible speech)

2. Eating garden burger with strawberry,mango and granola yogurt,,(yummy,,,)

3. Watching television drama series at youtube,,,(so touched),,

4. Doing 25% studying,,+,,75% watching video,,ROFTL,,(I still have tomorrow rite??)

5. YMing with someone,,,(LOL)

6. Enjoying the song by 'cute is what we aim for' - ''Newport Living',,(still playing in my head,,ouh,,)

BTW,,good luck exam to seniors,,

Wassalam,,

Status for finals,,

Peace be upon with you,

Finals are just around the corner,,and
Here are some of the IM status that I get,,time ranged between 10pm-11pm:

today menu: vegetable collard with belacan, chicken cooked with fat chilliyi fire and fries and taters

finally able to control my emotions =) lets fight for tomorrow's final: spanish ^_^

~organic chemistry test!~

Busy

rumahku penuh dengan jeritan tekanan perasaan

keremajaan

sakit dada..dup dup dup!!

semangatlah wahai manche!!!!!

fresh beginnings sweet endings

Trying my best, To make a comeback

i'm screwed

House...(bile nak study nih..)

:-)

mute math

stressed

death is imminent

Lapar. Lapar. Seyes ni.

Bari melaporkan Mior sedang tidor

RENDAHKAN FREKUENSI ANDA

numerical methods

aja-aja fighting

perut, jgn salahkan daku jika dikau buncit

flying away

sesape bangun awal esok tlg kejut aku please...aku ade exam kul 8am T-T

econ tercinta~XD

In conclusion,
Good Luck in your finals!!,,I pray for your success and don't forget mine too!!,,XD,,
And I wish that all of you will turn back normal after the finals,,LOL!!!,,,(take care of your health,,plus,,get enough sleep)..

Wassalam.

Love is for everyone

Peace be upon with you,,

L.O.V.E....love....what is actually love?,,same meaning with miss??,,or there is more specific meaning??,,special for certain relationship??,,sorry,,I don't know what is love because I never fall in love (I mean in real serious relationship) with other people. LOL.

From the word love,,it contributes into other words such as lover, lovely. Wow, I wonder how would be the feel of love is. But I'm sure it's gonna be exciting. Well, what I wanna say here is

LOVE IS FOR EVERYONE

Thank You

Wassalam

p/s: this quote is taken from a desk at Wallace Library. It is such a nice quote, but don't have any idea to talk about. No experience. ROTFL!!!

What I've done today?

Peace be upon with you,,

Today is Friday,,I tot it was a cloudy day because the forecast told me it was supposed to be rainy and gloomy. But the sun shone all over the place. But I still wore my hoody from ROMP Malaysia,,yeah,,maybe I'm a "hoody-holic" + "ROMP-holic" guy I think.

I had my last bio lab this morning,,OMG,,finally,,no more class. And amazingly, I have never skipped any class for this quarter,,seriously,,even chem recitation also I have never missed it. I'm really happy with myself. Alhamdulillah. I hope I could continue it for winter quarter. InsyaAllah.

And today, I didn't go to any senior house to 'lepak' because I don't wanna disturb them studying for finals next week. Plus, I wanna study too,,,even I just have 1 final,,IntroBio 1 (it's killing me rite now). Besides, I just wanna make sure that there is no more unsatisfied person or people who don't wanna me to go to senior house. I really don't understand, how could they unsatisfied with my visiting? I know what I do! A word that I would like to say now-WHATEVER!!!-

However, the thing that I didn't expect to do today was spending 100 bucks at SOLS. Gee. What a freak of me. LOL. But, I don't really care about it as I still have 160usd for my debit. And I need to spend all of the money before next sunday I think.

OK. End of story. Need to continue....watching *****(LOL)-kiddin

Wassalam

Bila bicara tentang hati

Salam sejahtera ke atas kalian,,

Bila bicara tentang hati, mungkin ada di antara kalian yang sungguh waspada dalam menjaga hati orang lain. Terima kasih saya ucapkan. Kerana kalian sungguh prihatin akan hati itu. Dan, mungkin ada di antara kalian yang memikirkan hati itu adalah satu benda yang remeh. Tidak kisah sama sekali akan hati itu asalkan hasrat di fikiran dipenuhi. Terima kasih saya ucapkan juga. Kerana kalian menjayakan hasrat di fikiran walaupun mungkin ada hati lain yang terluka.

Bila bicara tentang hati, ada orang ambil kisah tentang hati mereka sendiri. Dan ada orang tidak peduli hati mereka sendiri. Memang pelik. Hati itu ibarat ibu segala jasad. Tempat tinggal si perasaan yang tidak mungkin akan terpisah antara satu sama lain kecuali ajal. Bak kata orang, tak lapuk dek hujan, tak lekang dek panas.

Bila bicara tentang hati, memang menjadi lumrah kehidupan, bahawa hati itu amatlah sukar untuk dijaga. Terutama kepada mereka yang amat sensitf hatinya. Seperti saya. Mungkin. Tapi, sudah ramai orang berkata, "ko nie sensitif sgt la." Aku menerima kata itu dengan redha. Ye lah. Apa boleh saya buat? Itu sudah hati saya berkelakuan demikian. Saya tak boleh buat apa-apa. Apa pun, saya suka hati saya. Biarlah orang berkata apa, saya tidak kisah. Saya tak kacau hati mereka.

Bila bicara tentang hati, dialah alat kawalan jasad manusia. "Ikut kata hati." Itulah ayat yang selalu di guna bila berdepan dengan masalah dunia. Kadang-kadang hati itu menghasut ke arah kejahatan. Tapi, hati itulah juga yang mengelakkan jasad berbuat demikian. Ibarat hati itu satu tetapi ada dua karakter.

Bila bicara tentang hati, harap kalian dapat memahami hati ini. Cukuplah sekadar tahu apa hati ini mahukan, tak perlu dipenuhi hasrat hati itu. Kerana, biasalah, hati ini kadagkala sensitif. Entahlah. Memang sukar diungkapkan dengan tulisan atau perkataan. Mungkin sebab hati sahaja yang mengetahui segala-gala.

Sekian.
Wassalam.

p/s: maaf kalau 'post' ini membosankan hati anda. Hati ini amat memohon maaf jika hati ini tidak memenuhi hasrat hati anda

Today evaluation

Peace be upon with you,,

When I think back, what am I exactly doing all over the day?,,I mean today,,

0700 - wake up + solat + prepare + do homework

0830 - go to lab print something

0900 - go to library + do homework

1100 - chem recitation

1130 - lunch (treat sophomore students who most of them are in real hunger)+ solat + do homework

1330 - essay review with FYE instructor

1400 - do homework (diselitkan with watching video)

1540 - solat

1600 - FYE and Symposium class

1750 - solat + dinner (light dinner)+ solat

1845 - go to lab comp at library (out of laptop to be borrowed) + do homework (tension with the computer speaker)

2340 - blogging!!!,,LOL

All in all,,
1. I need to go back residence hall rite now
2. When arrive, choose between of 2,,,,,,doing homework,,,or,,,sleeping,,,sigh

Wassalam

NinE--tEeN

Peace be upon with you,,

I want to write a number that I think is a lucky number for me,,19. It is not like a lucky number of me. It is just how this number related to me.

1. I'm 19 years old now and 19 years I have been live on this earth. When, I asked American, "What is your age?", They would say 18. I said,"What??..you r bigger and taller than me!". Sigh, No wonder most all Americans are bigger (in size) than me. But somehow, I'm feeling lucky when I think that I'm not 20 yet. LOL. I feel that age of 20++ is the state where they are not a teenage anymore. They need to change their attitude to be more mature adult. Sigh. WAAA. I wanna be 19 forever!!!

2. I was born on 19th Oct 1989. Okay. No elaboration with it because it is my destiny to be born that day.

3. Yesterday, I borrowed a laptop from library with the number of 19!!!

I think that is. No need to add anything related to 19. Okay.

Wassalam.

LibraRy,,

Peace be upon with you,,

Let me tell you people about library. It is a place where people will gather around and hang out with books. Some people come to read books. Some people will come to feel the air-cond because its cold (Malaysia is hot!!),,and some people will come to meet their friends and talk about anything,,plus gossip about others.

For me, library is a place where I could concentrate in my studies and doing my homework too especially when I am all alone at a table. It's up to me to do anything without any disturbance. Then, I like to stay in a tranquil, peace and quite environment,which I could find it in a library.

Although I'm not a book worm,,I like to work as a librarian!!,,Why??,,let me list you my position when I was in school.

Primary school,,

Standard 4 - First time became a librarian,,(dpt jadik pon sebab angkat tangan nak jd librarian time the teacher asked,"who wanna be a librarian??,,LOL)

Standard 5 - Naik Pangkat - be a leader of Multimedia Biro,,ROFTL,,

Standard 6 - Because teachers thought me as a very good,clever and kind student,,hehe,,I got the higher position - Leader of Librarian,,LOL!!!,,,(the more funny thing was,,there was a teacher offered me to become a prefect,,LOL!!!!!!!!!)

Secondary school,,

Form 2 - Yeah,,at last, I did to be a librarian. My uniform were white pants and light light green top,,(I found it was a nice color combination,,because prophet MUHAMMAD S.A.W likes white and green,,)

Form 3 - Became less active in library activities,,,needed to concentrate in PMR,,

Form 4 - Most active librarian when I was form 4 because I was a little bit free after PMR,,and I would be quit bz for next year,,SPM,,Hehe,,,made lots of REQUEST activities,,LOL,,And most interesting thing was,,the uniform color was changed,,,maroon pant with pink top,,,yaiks,,,pasrah2,,

Form 5 - As usual,,because of my passion, I did to become the leader of librarian,,,haha,,but somehow I passed lots of jobs to form 4 librarian as I need to strive for SPM,,sigh,,,

To appreciate my roll as a librarian for 4 years in my high school, I was awarded 'anugerah kepimpinan: Ketua Pustakawan 2006,,,LOL,,,ROFTL,,I have never believed that my school would appreciate my position,,,sigh,,,Thank you SEMESTA,,,hoooooo

Ok,,I think my librarian post ended when I finished my high school,,hoho,,

As the result,,

1) I love to go to library
2) I am not afraid to wear pink!!!
3) I wonder if I could work at Wallace Library like Syafrul,,-.-

Ok,,bye,,need to sleep,,

Wassalam,,,

Familia (part 2)

Peace be upon with you,,

If u wanna know more about my family,,,please follow this link

http://eizonce.blogspot.com/2008/11/100yeaa.html

Wassalam

Familia,,

Peace be upon with you,,

Actually now I'm really bored. It is not because that I don't have work to be done. It is just I don't have mood to do anything. Sigh. Okay, let me tell you about my family (Just basic description).

This is my parents,,
This pic was taken for the last Raya,,sigh,,I wonder why ayah getting thinner than usual,,or it just the dark blue baju melayu made him like that,,haha,,my mom,,she is a pretty woman. Always. Plus, she is a lovely mom tu. I miss you MAMA,,

Then, my sibling and I,,




I have arranged the pic from the oldest to the youngest. Okeh, the brown baju melayu is me Shahrizal. Next, the one who is sitting on the sand (budget ayu) is Shahizwan. Then, my lil bro yg tgh makan tu is Shahazlan (tolong la iwan amek gambar die byk2, asyik ko dgn mira je. Nak muntah aku). Then the only girl (I HATE YOU!!!),,Amira.

Talking about my siblings, actually me and other bros wanna give my lil sis name syakirah or some other name that contains the word shah. But somehow, the tradition was broken. Sigh, ayah doesnt wanna to add shah. At last, Nur Amira is her name. Sigh,,

This pic was taken when we were at Lumut jetty.

Hurm, I need to stop here. Wait for my next blog.

Wassalam

p/s: tolong la ambik gamba jelan,,kesian die,,die nak gak tangkap gamba. Amira xde henset ke??,,ke ambek henset motorola ko??

Happy Halloween,,

Peace be upon with you,,

Yesterday evening, me and my seniors were going to ASSIP & MIOR house because they made a HALLOWEEN PARTY!!,,yeah,,somehow I have got excited as people would dress up like 'hell' to be anything they want. Before that, Park Point was our first destination. Erm, jiejoe left their costumes in thirah's house and they wanted to dressed up there. Plus, maybe they wanted to gather first before going to the party. Somehow they make up the things on their faces, hands to make it scary. Hurm, they took about an hour to dress up. Sigh. I was waiting for them with full of patient, but i enjoyed them dressing themselves. Lots oh things happened.

About 830, we arrived at thier house. And believe me, their rally decorated their house like a very scary house. When we entered the house, it was so dark. Really dark. Everybody was screaming as there was something on front of the toilet. Actually I was behing of the crowd to watch the thing. Tup tup,,it was ended. I didn't know what actually they wanna do. Scare us?,,erm,,maybe. Yeah,,there were lots of people comin to the party. And their costumes were vogue too. Sigh, because i was really hungry, I ate first and others were busy taking pictures. Sigh.

Then, we had the HALLOWEEN runway. It was fun when they acted and walked in front of us although i was not participate at all. I just watched them clapping and what so ever. Then we played mafia. Erm, I realized the game was not really fun as mafia always loose with the villagers. Sigh,,

At 1230, my seniors and I said goodbye to everyone as we gonna back home. Sigh. When I arrived there, I immediately went to sleep as i was really tired and sleepy.

Thanx to assip and mior because inviting me to your party (although it was last minute invitation,LOL). I appreciate your effort in decorating the house,preparing the meal. And I hope u will make another party next year.

Wassalam

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! (Part 2)

Peace be upon with you,

My day is getting worse,,when I open mycourses website, I am shocked. Really SHOCK!!..My grade for Bio Lab Notebook is horrible. Aiya!!,,How I gotta score in my BIO???,,,,siiiiiiigh,,,

Wassalam

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Peace be upon with you,,,

The 3rd chem exam was so f****** hard,,,sigh,,(mcm mane la die blh pass jd prof nih,,sigh,,,)

Wassalam

Snow??

Peace be upon with you,,

Maybe this post is not interesting as I want to write of what I feel yesterday and today.

Oct 28, MarketPlace Mall, Around 3-6pm.

I went to the mall to buy a Halloween costume and a winter coat. Actually, I really wanted to buy that things last weekend, but sadly, even XS size shirt didn't fit me well. So, I decided to think about it again weather I need to buy the winter coat or not. As my friends have already bought, so I immediately go to the Mall. It's okay to buy large one as long as I like it. First, I went to Halloween costume shop and searched a proper costume for me. Then, I picked one (It's just a usual costume, nothing horror with it)

Then, I went to Aeropostale to searched for the cheapest jacket I could get. But somehow, they didn't have XS size. It was really disappointed as Aeropostale is the only shop that provides less expensive outwear than other outlets. Sigh. So, I walked to AE. Hurm. I checked the 50% discount for 2nd item special was still available. There were lots of people inside the shop. I checked the jacket that I like to buy and thank god, it was still there. So, I grabbed it and paid it.

The end of my day

Eh. At the mall, dla called me to buy the flight ticket because it was cheap at that time. Sigh, I couldn't purchase it at my phone. PROBLEM PROBLEM.

Oct 29, Residence Hall, Quarter Mile, Library.

After finishing my shower at 815am, I look outside the window to see the sky. It's quit gloomy. But I don't think it will make my day also gloomy like them. Checking my email, preparing my stuff, thinking my future, I'm ready to go to library. Yeah, somehow I need to study for my chemistry exam tomorrow (I hate you *o* *a**a*a*e-I don't understand what the f****** thing that you taught yesterday.)

And again, I look outside to see the day. It's raining I guess. So, my white hoodie becomes my chosen sweater to wear. I really hope that rain is not heavy till I reach at the library. Walking outside the dorm and go to the walkpath, I shocked. It's not really that shocked. I'm just excited. It is not raining. It's SNOWING. Hurm, I checked the white small ball falling on my hand first weather it's really snowing or 'hujan batu'. Yeah It's snow. So, I enjoy my way to the library with snow. Haha. It's really fun. Ye la. Never ever feel the snow at Malaysia.

Ok la. End of the story.

Wassalam.

~Rindu~

Peace be upon with you,,

"smekom bang da mkn lum....mkn ape....mama sntiasa doakn abg shat slalu, kuat smangat dan sntiasa ingatkan Allah. belajar rajin2, jngan mudah putus asa.try your best dan pandai2 jaga diri.kami sntiasa rindu kat abg."

"abg da mkn....makan nasi lauk ayam...abg rindu korg semue jue."

p/s: ingat family, InyaAllah berkat blajar,,,

Wassalam,,

Perfect Dream,,

Peace be upon with you,,,

Yesterday, at 230pm, me, jijie and joe arrived at the sports arena to play dodgeball. I thougt we were late but eventually, zul was the only malaysian there. How pity. Haha. But, others malaysians seniors were coming after us and it was unexpected number. Most all of malaysian students came to play dodgeball. Wow.

Then, we played that game.I was in team C. Originally, the members of that team were me, din, hawa, kina, azlina and I forget. Somehow,when we were playing, we always loose with other teams. Gosh, when our last game, others malaysians betrayed their teams and joined out team, and we won. LOL. It's okay, at least we won once. I was really tired at that time as I have never ever played sports since at Intec, playing frisbee.

Then, we ate pizza together, prayed and again, played other game. Badminton. Badminton is a sport that I used to play it when I was in primary school. I played it just for fun. But somehow, when I took the racquet and played with joe, it was really erm,,,dunno what to say,,memorable I think,,It was fun when play together although for only a match.

Before went back home, we and other sophomore seniors were having dinner at Wok With You. I ordered squid ape ntah and it was nice. I wonder when can I go there again. When I arrived at RC, I was so tired. I felt asleep at 1100 pm i think.

During my sleep, I have a Perfect Dream. To make it short, I was dreaming that I confessed my love to a person named A. Plus, A immediately accepted my proposal and I was really happy and shocked. I couldn't think anything happier than this happy moment.

But somehow, when I woke up, I knew it just only a dream. A dream that would never ever become reality as A already has a mate,I guess, or even A wouldn't accept me as who I am. Haha. because of that, it is only A PERFECT DREAM. It's okay to have it in a dream world rather than never experience it. Am I right?

All in all, I post a video, Mimpi Yang Sempurna by Peter Pan,

Wassalam.

OH HAPPY DAY!!

Peace be upon with you,

Here's the thing. This weekdays (20-25 oct), I have never planned to make myself emo again. Although I'm really sensitive in certain2 issues, I tried to avoid them and acted as the normal SHAH who people know before. Somehow, I aimed to finish all my homework as much as I could so I may waste some of my time during this weekend by sleeping. Eventually, lots of things happened to other Malaysians students here that really made them HAPPY.

Some of them are HAPPY after gone through essay work from writing seminar, some of them are HAPPY and have a long HAPPY sigh after taking 2 exams in a day, some of them are HAPPY that they could complete all the homework before weekends got started, some of them are excited and HAPPY to play rockband 2 at Naje's house, some of them are HAPPY after shopping at the mall, some of them are HAPPY when they feel lots of free time than last week, and the most HAPPY thing is, some of them are HAPPY after get new couple and HAPPY to reveal their relationships to other friends. All in all, all of them are HAPPY this week!!

Am I HAPPY??,,hurm,,maybe I would say NEUTRAL,,except for yesterday activity,,somehow I'm HAPPY as I could spent some free time outside RIT. After solat Jumaat, my seniors and I went out to mall to shop some dress and have some window shopping. Erm,,somehow,,I got dissappointed here when whenever I wanna buy a hoodies or shirt here, I couldn't fit with any XS size!!,,haiyo,,it is because the shirt is long that could cover my butt,,,sigh,,I wonder maybe I need to find my outwear from kids section.

Then, we went to cinema to watch movies. Actually a movie, because when my seniors were watching SAW V, I didn't watch it as I opened my phone and watched japanese drama, STAND UP, starring by yamapi and others,,,wahahahaha,,,Then, we watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3, SENIOR YEAR, it was so exciting when we watched the movie but it started to get annoying some other people were shouting and screaming whenever TROY BOLTON (ZAC EFRON) appeared in the movie. All about ZAC EFRON,,,sigh,,,

And for the last place was WalMart. we bought foods, halloween things and others. I didn't buy anything except SNEAKERS WITH ICE CREAM!!!,,,yea,,,

To all my HAPPY friends and seniors, I wish you good luck in whatever you are doing right now. To all my HAPPY couple friends and seniors, I wish you all HAPPY forever (nak makan nasik minyak jgn lupe ajak)

I posted a videa entitled "OH HAPPY DAY" , from japanese drama, My Boss My Hero. Enjoy.

Wassalam

Or run away??

Peace be upon with you,,

I have nothing to write because all my days before were going usual without anything. It just I'm fall in love with this song by Vanessa Hudgens, "Say Ok". I don't why suddenly I love to see this video. Maybe she is very cute when playing bowling. But when I read the lyric of this song, then I feel that, this 'love song' is very special that can be use to whom is started to get into coupling world or already in it. I don't know. Plus, the tempo of this song is really harmony, I could feel she sang the song with full of her expression. Haha.

So,my advice from this post is, don't run away. Don't run if you have the chance. That's all.

Wassalam

p/s: lagu ini juga blh ditujukan kepada rakan2 baik anda,,adakah mereka benar2 kawan baik anda??,,atau sekadar musang berbulukan ayam??

p/s: pissed off sebab I lost my pen drive!!!,,,

p/s: I wanna complete all my work ASAP!!!!!

Today is MoNdAy,,

Peace be upon with you,,

I just wanna write about what I have felt today,,

After I finish my chemistry lab, the crowd of people starts to flood the hallway. I go out from the room, and check my box at the second floor. As I expected, there is the blue sheet of papers and yup, it is my midterm bio paper. I thought I have forgotten its pain but it isn't. I really don't want to look at it as I have already fed up with those of crappy things. Keeping that thing inside my bag, my body starts to get weak suddenly. And my heart could feel the worriness of my soul.

Before I walk away from Gosnell Building, my fingers turn on my playlist on the phone. With the song 'say Ok', I don't know why my heart really really sad and anxious about anything. My steps are getting shorter, my speed is getting slower, and the time is getting longer. More than unusual. My eyes watch toward some bunch of trees with yellow leafs. Then I turn it at the sky. It is dark. What a gloomy MoNdAy, and as gloomy as myself. The chorus of that song even makes me more sad. Then, i see everyone that is on my view, are they the same with me? I could feel the broken heart mine, but I don't know why. And I really want to throw it out far far away but I couldn't.

Yeah, it is true. I am confused. Lots of things need to be settled. And I messed it up. Just one thing that is inside my mind, when this thing gonna end forever? Can anyone answer it? Sigh, I really wanna cry but I couldn't because my eyes hold it. On my way back home, it starts to rain, and I'm relieved. Because rain understands me, cries for me, and same with me.

Wassalam.

P/S: I'm sorry for everything,,,

The chubby version of me??

Thanx to Insyirah 4 this cute chubby portrait of me. (Erm, maybe she should draw a thin version of me after this),,

Significance of October,,

Peace be upon with you,,

I really don't have any idea what topic to write about because I'm not allowed to write about sad things. So, I just came out with a really boring title, Significance of October.

What is happened on October? Maybe it just a usual 10th month of the year for other person but I'm slightly different from them as I have many experiences on certains days.

~ First on foremost, today is my birthday. I'm not promoting my birthday. It just reality that I'm born on Octobr 19th 1989. And that means I'm 19 years old. Many of my friends said that at last, I'm turned old. But, when I'm investigating all the RIT Malaysian Students, I'm the youngest!!,,So,, they should treat me as the youngest who needs care and love. Haha. Kidding. For me, I don't think 19 is old, it just the number just keep increasing as I grow up. That's all. It has been years I have not celebrated my day as I got busy with all stuff. Last year, it was Raya moment. Last 2 years, I was busy with SPM, and for past few years, I was staying in hostel and somehow it was difficult for me to tell everyone, "Hari ni birthday aku". But, as long as my friends wish me for luck, it's more than OK. So, Happy Birthday to me.

~ I still remember I took my PMR on October 3rd at school. At that time, I was really scared in taking the national exams as last my compulsary exam was UPSR. Rumors said that, if I didn't get straight A's in PMR, I would be kicked out from my school. At that time, I did bad in English and History. Plus, after I took all the exams, I didn't expect to get all A's as I was not confident to get A's in both of the subject. But at last, Alhamdulillah I got all A's. HAHA. How lucky I am.

~ Everyone knows in past few years, Raya was celebrated on October. So, I wish Happy Eid Ul Fitr to all of you. Next year we will celebrate Raya on September. May Allah give us opportunity to have Syawal next year. Amin.

~ To my friends or whoever read this post that born in October, I wish Happy Birthday. Frem, Mar, Ad, Afnan, Mohan, Happy Birthday dudes. Sorry if I'm not listing some other names. I'm bad in memorizing stuffs.

~ When the 12 am moment came to celebrate my 19th years, I was sleeping. How pathetic.

~ Actually, Man Che' is the youngest since he was born slightly little bit late from me. 12 days. But, I don't think he should be treated as youngest as he is now in sophomore year and I'm Freshman!! (Is it mean that Manche is still 18??,,cepatnye matang,,hahaha,,,)

Wassalam,,

It's time..

Peace be upon with you,,

~Am I a drama queen wanna be??
Eh HELLO!!,,aku laki kot,,(the anonymous must be someone I know)

~If I said I am well prepared, meaning I am not even studying anything??
Eh HELLO!!,,If I study, I well prepared,,even not to the fullest.

~By writing all of the crappy miserable life on the blog wont make me feel any better??
Eh HELLO!!,,at least I do not keep it in my soul and make myself even worse. Plus, somehow it would relieve myself even better.

~Am I such a loser??
Eh HELLO!!,,ko lagi loser kot, anonymous konon, kalau nak bagi advice pon, biarlah bertempat. I know harsh words would affect me. But actually, I have get used to that crap thing. No offense. Plus, u r such a f'***ing b***h LOSER!!!

Okay. The things above this is special to anonymous if he or she read this blog again. (I hope he or she is not someone I know,,I hope so!!!)

~Be like a phoenix that rises from the ashes....
Erm,,phoenix is a type of bird. I'm not a bird. Instead I'm a man!!,,Haha,,juz kidding,,I will try,,little by little,,

Ko msti ade kwn rpt kt msia kn, or kt US tp kt uni lain...
~I do have friends, but not the type that would listen to my problems..I have never ever told my problems to others to others except I am writing it on this blog..haha..but anyway,,I would overcome it,,

Stop being childish la bang.aiyoo.Mama dengan Ayah tau baru tau...
~Heh!!,,lps nie jgn tunjuk langsung blog aku kat mama dgn ayah,,nie hal anak mude,,anak sulong,,ko je sorg taw da sudah,,ok???

SUMPAH aku tak pernah nampak ko nangis kot.I wonder how would it looks like.hehehe,,
~So What????

Ko dh parah ni aku rase...
~Xde la parah mane,,It just I couldn't help myself to write my feel on this blog. That's all.

Shah, get yourself a girlfriend!! LoL gf always helps u in the time of need :p,,
~ERM,,,errr,,,no comment la,,because I,,,erm,,er,,hurm,,Dunno what to say. It just like I'm not ready into couple world. Plus, if wanna find one,,it's hard for me because,,,erm,,kor taw lah aku mcm mane,,,LOL!!!!

Ape kate ko restrict blog ko?
AAAAA,,,tgh dalam perancangan,,,

And maybe ko bleh stop tulis cerite2 sedih. get a new focus. and blurrkan focus misery,,
I will, just wait and see. I need time.believe me I will,,

~aku xtau nk ckp ape dh. aku lapa nk g makan jap.+ pape pn aku nk supper lak. bye.
Erm,,makan makan,,sile sile,,jgn overweight lps nie sudah,,,LOL,,kiddin',,makan makan,,

Wassalam

down,,

Peace be upon with you,,

While walking on the quarter mile, going back to my room after MySA general meeting, I don't know why I feel so down today. Yeah, I accept that today is quit bz with the classes, meeting, Malaysian booth, presidential debate and other work. Plus, maybe my bad grade for bio midterm is still in my head, spinning around and make it even worse than usual. Somehow, I feel like I'm trapped in crowd. No one would notice my body except my soul. The cold breeze made my mouth chattering nonstop. I walked faster because I wanted to go to library for the debate.

In the room, as I performed Isya' solah, I remembered past memories, past accidents and past of whatever I did. I could feel the emptiness of my heart and no one could fill it except someone called friend. Somehow I am a ittle bit jealous when people are taking care of their best friends. So sweet. It just like they would go anywhere, do anything by together. And I'm not part of that lucky people. I want to find one but somehow no one interested. So, I need to use to be alone even its hurt. No choice I guess.

When I finished my solah, I sat on the sejadah while keep thinking the reality of me. Yeah, it's true my life is miserable. And again, the tears came out from my eyes but I did stop it before it flowed on my cheek. I don't know the reason for that tears. Oh, maybe myself is pity for myownself. I didn't want to make it worse. Packing my back, I went out from the room, walked to the library. On my way, there is nothing inside my head except, keep thingking about my past, my present and my future. Is it gonna be always miserable??

Wassalam.

Result midterm introbio1 fall2008 - failed!!

Peace be upon with you,

I don't know what to write since people keep talking about my 'emo' problem. Whatever it is, there is something that i need to tell everyone, sorry for everything. That's all. Maybe I should do something, but somehow, later lah. And one more thing, I am not you and you are not me. I am myself. So, people will never ever understand of what I feel, what I gain and what the pain that I face. No one. Then, .........ntah la,,no idea what to write.

Ok, go back to the topic. Failed. I even not believe when I see my grade in mycourses. It shows to me that I failed in midterm exam introbio1 falll 2008. Am I too bad??,,urgh,,There is something wrong with me. AAAAAA. But I don't know why. I have studied enough. Hurm,,ntah la. Haiyo, this thing would make me 'emo' again. Sigh,,apela nasib malang yang menimpa diriku ini. After this problem, come other problem. Sigh..................( a very very very long sigh.....),,ape nak jadik nih??

Wassalam,,(mmg down btol skrg nie)

alone..

Peace be upon with you,,

To readers especially Joe, this is what happened yesterday-[Saturday]

Sitting on the chair, focusing on the laptop screen and thinking how to complete my bio lab report, I felt strange. Why Joe and Zizi were in rush? Were they going to somewhere I think? I just ignored them because I wanted to concentrate on my report. But, it got more interesting when they were chit-chatting about some party or something. I went into their room.

Me : korg nak pegi mane?
Joe : kitorg ade function nak pegi. So,blh x ko tolong jage kan rumah?
Me: oo,,ok,,no hal,,,function ape?
Joe: function, party kawan american kitorg,,
Me: owh,,ok

I continued my work, while they were preparing themselves for the function. Then, boss came into the house with najmi.

Boss: korg da siap ke blom?
Joe: da nak siap la nih.

The thing that made me feel strange was, najmi and boss were wearing baju melayu. Were they going to the same place? bcoz joe and jiji didn't wear the baju melayu. But, I didn't care, maybe they had 2 different functions. Maybe. After couple of minutes, they left me.

Joe: nah ni kunci rumah. nanti kalau ade ape2 kitorg call.
Me: Okay!!

They gone and i was alone. I felt akward because i was in someone's home. The silence of the home made me even more alone. I didn't know what to do except workig in my work. I needed to find earphones because I wanted to listen to my phone. Somehow, I tried to search it at joe's desk and found one. Sony earphone. I took it and eventually, something poped up on joe's laptop screen, and i read it.

Pao: korg bile nak blah pegi umah aku?
Joe: nak pegilah nie.
............................................
................................................

My mouth was shutted up, the time had stopped for a while, and my body sat at the corner of the room. My body was so weak. My mind didn't want to remember that moment when I was reading that thing. Somehow, while sat alone, in the quite room, my tears came out from my brown eyes. I didn't know why. I couldn't help myself. I tried to stop the tears but I couldn't. So, my watery eyes let the tears flow nonstop.

I felt homesick. I felt alone. And I felt an empty heart of me. It was not because I was being left by joe and zizi. They didn't do anything. It was my fault to cry like a baby. My fault. It was just my fault that I don't have any best friends. Because of that, I'm being alone all the time. I thought I wanna go back home, ride my scooter, watch movie at KLCC and do anything else. Without anybody because it's good being alone. No one would disturb my business. But, I didn't know why I changed here. I have a very long thought at that time. after a whie, I knew, sometimes, being alone is really peacefull, but sometimes,being alone is really hurt too.

My tears had stopped. I wiped it with my shirt and felt relieved because I have never ever cried since the day I was so homesick at home. Things went back normal. But still in pain, I walked through the door and continued my work. After almost an hour, my phone was ringing.

Joe: Hello Shah,
Me: Oh, Hye Joe,
Joe: Nape nie Shah, ko nangis ke?
Me: Eh, xde la. Aku mane ade nangis...
......................................................................
....................................................................

And the day was continued,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

SORRY to everyone bacause I become emo again.

Wassalam

Distress

Peace be upon with you,,

Today is Saturday, the Saturday that I have never felt so free than the previous Saturdays. Somehow I wanna sleep all over again but I couldn't. The day shines me with a very pleasure invitation so I can refresh, distress and make the day even brighter. After 2 exams, introbio1 and gene & analytical chem, I think I wanna stay away from studies material for couples for hours,maybe days, or maybe weeks. Yeah, I love you Saturday. Eventually, run away is not the way.

I never realized, I've been here almost 2 months. 2 months is not short, it's long. 6 weeks left to the end of fall2008. Gee, I wonder when all of this gonna end. I don't know what to write coz i don't have any story to be written here. Juz wanna say that I'm still new in blogging world. Hehe. Whoever read this thing, have a nice day!!..

..the day of today..

Wassalam

~habis sudah duka dijaja, tinggal lara menanggung hiba~

Salam semua(ade ke org nak bace nih??,,ape2 je lah),,

Tetibe plak rase nak emo. X taw la plak nape nak emo. Bak kate ikut kate hati, buat je kalau nak buat. So, aku tulis je lah ape yang nak tulis. Lagipon, kalau aku tulis bende merepek pon, ape aku kesah. I just wanna do something to disteress myself instead of listening to music or sleeping. Aku rase nak buat ayat best sket, blh x?

Tika aku melihat luar jendela, ku buka tirai agar mata perangku jelas akan suasana malam, malam yang penuh syahdu, malam yang penuh angin deru, malam yan penuh dengan maksud tersirat yang masih terungkai satu persatu. Jauh dari sudut hati meronta, adakah aku diketahuan orang? adakah aku masih mampu berdiri keseorangan? adakah aku masih ketinggalan? adakah aku sudah sempurnakan niat hatiku?

Mungkin jawapan di mulut berkata benar, namun jawapan di hati bermadah tidak. Dalam kegelapan malam, tiada bulan untuk menerangi, hanya tinggal sinar neon dari sudut bangunan perang memancarkan cahaya. Aku terfikir, dimanakah aku di dalam kegelapan malam itu? batu? pohon? angin? Bolehkan aku menjawab, tidak? Tidak semua dari itu, bukan batu, bukan pohon, mahupun bukan angin. Aku bukan mereka. Aku tiada antara mereka. Aku bukan sebahagian dari mereka. Adakah ini dikatakan aku tiada siapa??

Bak kata orang, hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih. Ya, aku tahu, aku ingat, dan aku faham. Sesungguhnya kehidupan itu satu cabaran bagi manusia yang lemah lagi hina. Namun persoalannya, adakah hati ini masih mampu bertahan? Bertahan berdiri keseorangan? Bertahan menerima beban mendatang? Hanya kata kata ini yang keluar dari sudut hatiku, cukuplah, sudahlah, berhentilah. Namun, ia tetap tidak berhenti. hati semakin terasa berat,berat yang teramat amat berat, hingga aku merasa hendak jatuh tika berjalan di jalanan lurus.

Aku tidak mengerti. Adakah ada orang lain sepertiku? atau aku yang paling malang antara yang malang? Bukan. Bukan itu soalan ku. Adakah aku masih waras? Bukan. adekah aku masih mampu? Itu pon bukan. Ape yang aku pinta? Ye, ape yang aku pinta mungkin persoalan yang patut ditanye. Namun aku tidak mahu, kerana permintaan aku itu tidak masuk akal. Amat tidak masuk akal. Aku diam, mata ditutup, jauh lagi di sudut hati berkata, inilah hakikat hidup aku. Inilah takdir hidup aku. Inilah realiti hidup aku.

Aku lepaskan pandangan mataku dari malam. Kalau diteruskan renungan fantasi itu, mungkin aku akan berkhayal entah kemana. Aku berkemas untuk pulang ke kamar. Setiap kali kakiku melangkah, aku terfikir soalan tadi. Ape yang aku pinta? Sebenar-benarnya??