Peace be upon with you,,
I just wanna write about what I have felt today,,
After I finish my chemistry lab, the crowd of people starts to flood the hallway. I go out from the room, and check my box at the second floor. As I expected, there is the blue sheet of papers and yup, it is my midterm bio paper. I thought I have forgotten its pain but it isn't. I really don't want to look at it as I have already fed up with those of crappy things. Keeping that thing inside my bag, my body starts to get weak suddenly. And my heart could feel the worriness of my soul.
Before I walk away from Gosnell Building, my fingers turn on my playlist on the phone. With the song 'say Ok', I don't know why my heart really really sad and anxious about anything. My steps are getting shorter, my speed is getting slower, and the time is getting longer. More than unusual. My eyes watch toward some bunch of trees with yellow leafs. Then I turn it at the sky. It is dark. What a gloomy MoNdAy, and as gloomy as myself. The chorus of that song even makes me more sad. Then, i see everyone that is on my view, are they the same with me? I could feel the broken heart mine, but I don't know why. And I really want to throw it out far far away but I couldn't.
Yeah, it is true. I am confused. Lots of things need to be settled. And I messed it up. Just one thing that is inside my mind, when this thing gonna end forever? Can anyone answer it? Sigh, I really wanna cry but I couldn't because my eyes hold it. On my way back home, it starts to rain, and I'm relieved. Because rain understands me, cries for me, and same with me.
Wassalam.
P/S: I'm sorry for everything,,,
I just wanna write about what I have felt today,,
After I finish my chemistry lab, the crowd of people starts to flood the hallway. I go out from the room, and check my box at the second floor. As I expected, there is the blue sheet of papers and yup, it is my midterm bio paper. I thought I have forgotten its pain but it isn't. I really don't want to look at it as I have already fed up with those of crappy things. Keeping that thing inside my bag, my body starts to get weak suddenly. And my heart could feel the worriness of my soul.
Before I walk away from Gosnell Building, my fingers turn on my playlist on the phone. With the song 'say Ok', I don't know why my heart really really sad and anxious about anything. My steps are getting shorter, my speed is getting slower, and the time is getting longer. More than unusual. My eyes watch toward some bunch of trees with yellow leafs. Then I turn it at the sky. It is dark. What a gloomy MoNdAy, and as gloomy as myself. The chorus of that song even makes me more sad. Then, i see everyone that is on my view, are they the same with me? I could feel the broken heart mine, but I don't know why. And I really want to throw it out far far away but I couldn't.
Yeah, it is true. I am confused. Lots of things need to be settled. And I messed it up. Just one thing that is inside my mind, when this thing gonna end forever? Can anyone answer it? Sigh, I really wanna cry but I couldn't because my eyes hold it. On my way back home, it starts to rain, and I'm relieved. Because rain understands me, cries for me, and same with me.
Wassalam.
P/S: I'm sorry for everything,,,
6 comments:
be patient n resilient shah!!!
dis is a test from ALLAH, u need to be strong...
when wil it end? it will never end since life itself is a test to make u stronger.... dun worry, u'll ace thru it...
Salam Shah. =)
Hope you're doing fine.
You know what Shah? you're stronger than you thought you are.
Stronger than me. Stronger than all those bloggers. Because no one ever has the gut to tell about their sadness and lonelines that their felt. I dont. And the most important thing, you are much stronger now compared to yourself back in Malaysia.
I understand your feeling. Both of us having the same problem. Its not the same with all those Malaysian at other Unis because they have plenty of Malaysian friends to talk to. Tgk la batch kita ade brape org je, kan? To be frank, I cried for the first 2 weeks of arrival in US. Sbb susah nak adapt, my English wasnt that good, no friends and I was too afraid to appraoach people.
Then, I realized that, smpai bila nak berterusan macam ni? Takkan aku nak biarkan 4 tahun aku kt sini habis mcm tu je. Something need to be done. I need friends. Still searching. Aku sorg kt sini Shah, pompuan plak tu. So mmg kene betul2 berani.
What I'm trying to say is, jangan terlalu ikutkan perasaan. Its normal to cry because you feel sad, tapi jgn smpai jadi kebiasaan. Its difficult to survive because we have to start over from beginning, find new friends, and adapt to the surrounding. Tapi Shah, dh berapa ramai org Malaysia yg survive, even kt mana2 negara, kenapa plak kau x boleh survive?
It is only mind over matter. Mula skit2 Shah. Join mana2 club. Well, all of us can give you advices, but you are the one whose going to determine the possible outcome. Whether you want to stay like this until your senior year, atau start changing.
You can do it Shah. I believe you do. =)
and hello? RIT ramai malay kot.. Come at U of R and feel the difference -.-"
Oh salah faham. What I meant was Malay yang satu batch. Maksudnya dari Intec sama2 datang sini.
Senior2 lain sbb xkan nak bergantung pada senior selalu.
=)
hello
sabar ok
and another thing, stop whining and start acting!!!
things wont be solved by themselves...
and r u trying to be an emo??
cause these days your entries seemed to be to that way...
maybe try to relax...
some people often said to me that university is the place where these bright kids learned how to fail~esp for medical student~
it's normal to fail...and rome wasnt built in a day
was it?
ive learnt my lesson with my a level...
and so should you now.
it's not intec and sekolah menengah anymore ok...don't expect that
i cant say that i understand how u feel---im juz okay with it
perceive the situation in more positive way ok
aite?
p/s tataw cane nk link ko pny blog..ajar?
weh aku suka playlist ko! *terkeluar dari topik*
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